Hogwild Pizzeria
By Kornedog • Feb 15th, 2006 • Category: PizzaPretty normal, this one. Not really sure what to say about it. The pizza was awesome. Damn tasty. They have tons of different pie varieties to choose from. They all sounded really damn tasty… ummm, the cola beverages were carbonated and were… uhh made colder with ice. The, uhh… the…Ooo, the Parmesan was grated and not just in one big block. It was perfect for sprinkling on the pizza!
All the chairs seemed to provide a firm base for sitting, and the front door allowed us to enter and exit the building with very little physical exertion and no annoying squeaky hinges. The napkins were absorbent, the forks all contained the standard four prongs and pierced the food adequately, the air contained the proper mix of Nitrogen, Oxygen, Argon, Carbon dioxide, Neon, Helium, Methane (CH4), Krypton, Hydrogen, and Xenon, and BountyBob seemed to be as slutty as ever, maybe even more so. Maybe that is what sets this place apart from all the others. It really enhances the sluttiness of BountyBob. Even Dbartho was acting kind of slutty when he grabbed our waiter’s package and said, “ll have the sausage.”
No, for reals y’all, Hogwild Pizzaria may not have been the craziest, most obscure place we’ve toured, but it is new and the pizza is some of the best in the area. A word of advice though: Do not order the “Who Killed Kenny” ridiculously hot pizza. Krick will tell you, it will ruin your tastebuds for the next three days and give you some serious hogwild pizzerhea.
Ate: The Hogfather
Paid: around $7
Rating: 4 out of 5 things
Pros: lots of pizza options, toppings applied in excess, sweet modern Last Supper painting on the wall
Cons: pizzerhea for Krick, I share an office with Krick
Directions: Google map to Hogwild Pizzerhea
Hey try this next time. Go with a group of at least seven, all of whom should be hungry for the Hogfather, but instead of doing the smart thing and just buying one large pizza, order 7 smaller individual Hogfathers. Then, one of the persons in your party should order a second small pie of another topping, to be consumed later. Here’s the trick: your Filipino friend also wants a second pizza, but his other one must be a medium. This will completely confuse the staff, who will already be the opposite of pleased from having to make so many Hogfathers when they could have just made one bigg’n. Be prepared to wait a long time, especially if you’re the guy who ordered another pizza but you AREN’T Filipino, because somewhere your order got lost along the way and you’re not going to be able to eat for a while. Somehow you will end up with a free medium Hogfather.
Or just bring two other people and order a salad and two different small pizza’s. Your two beers will be warm and ingested before you ever even smell your meal coming.
Do they sell pizza by the slice? Do they make their own dough? Does they guy behind the counter throw little dough triangles in the air instead of big dough circles?
Hey YOOO!!!!
Steven Wright is cool!!
I was hesitant to go to Hogwild Pizzeria for two reasons.
1) It’s not obscure to me because I have eaten there once or twice a week since they opened.
2) I was afraid that someone on the team wouldn’t like it and might give the best pizza place in town a bad review.
That said, I suppose it’s pretty obvious what my opinion is on Hogwild Pizzeria. It effing rules.
Hogwild Pizzeria, how I love you.
That being said: the Who Killed Kenny pizza is by far THE hottest thing I have EVER eaten. Our waiter (one of the nicest human beings in the world) warned me when I was ordering this deathly pie. He asked if I had anything going on for the rest of the day and added that I should not participate in any physical activities such as running or basketball after eating. I told him I just had to go back to work. Two hours later my lips were still burning. If you order this pie, the kind wait staff & excellent customer service are the only things that will keep you alive. If u’ve got a friend that says they love spicy food and will eat anything spicy, order this one for them. Sit back and enjoy, I guarantee it will be hilarious.
The best part of this experience was leaving the leftovers in the refrigerator and my roomate stealing a slice before she had to go to work in the morning. Priceless.
5 out of 5 slices.
Their pizza was pretty good. I had the greek pizza with artichoke hearts. It was the driest pizza I ever had. A drizzle of olive oil would be a nice addition.
They have the crispiest damn pizza I’ve ever had in my life.
Before my pizza I ordered a half order of breadsticks. When the sticks first showed up they were fresh and hot but devoid of flavor, even the marinara sauce was lacking. Once I added a shitload of salt and pizza-pepper stuff to the marinara sauce it was edible and damn near enjoyable. The herbs that were sprinkled on the sticks was a nice touch.
I imagine they use that bread for the sandwiches and if that is the case I’m sure it is awesome because it was good bread, but bad breadsticks, whatever that means. Maybe a drizzle of butter would be the remedy-not trying to turn it into the Olive Garden. Perhaps their cheesesticks are more promising.
My boyfriend who has to suffer through all my critiques agreed about the flavorlessness of the breadsticks. He got the Hogfather and was in meatheaven, and not in the homosexual way.
By the way, they had the good ice that is perfect for sodas. Of course, I got iced tea and totally regretted it when the supergood pellet ice arrived.
I give it 4.4 out of 5 big ass chairs.
Hogwild pizza rules. The beer is cheap. The pizza is good, and BountyBob is a slut. Its hard to find anything funny to say cause I like it so much and my humour leans more on the sarcasm side of things. I had black olive/sausage/eggplant pizza and it was damn tasty. They have tons of topping choices. LoMein ordered a sausage/fruitcake/peperoni/bacon pizza and requested a steak on top. She has really fallen off the vegetarian wagon. I couldn’t be more proud!
You sons of terds can shut yer damn holes, or stuff them with some “Who Killed Kenny.” I am not slutty!
I noticed no one said a word about that first review. Was that intentionally meant to come off as rude or are we ignoring it for some reason? Let me just say that the idea behind individual pizza orders is each person pays their own share and gets an equal amount. Each person has the option of taking leftovers home and eating the delicious HogWild pizza at a later date. I for one am not a fan of splitting a large pizza with ten people, sometimes I’m really hungry and sometimes I’m only a little hungry and if SlutKrammin’ wants to eat five pieces because I’m can’t then I get ripped at the counter splitting the cost. Do you know what that equals people, do you? Not cool.
And now, onto the review.
Despite the oddly shaped, hand-made sign out front and the weird chair located in the “viewing room”, you may remember “Chairy”, this place had a great dining atmosphere. Mostly that of the late eighties. At times reminiscent of “PeeWee’s Playhouse” mixed with Crasymaker’s suggestion of “Saved by the Bell” this is one hip joint. In fact, there was point when Pterri, the Pterrodactyl flew over our heads, LoMein thought it was a unicorn and started stripping, Dbartho was getting today’s secret word from Conky 2000 and Krick wouldn’t stop hitting on Jambi, singing “Meka Leka Hi Meka Hiney Ho”. We barely turned around in time to redress LoMein and save Krick from a nasty case of . . . well, some weird Genie disease. But don’t let that fool you. Listen to what these kids have to say.
On a serious note and all weird eighties references aside, and I thought the seventies television shows were weird, the food here was fantastic. Yes, I had the HogFather and it was amazing, even at the small size at which I purchased it! I will be returning for a second helping of HogWild. The service here is wonderful and apparently they have a very hot pizza which I was afraid to touch, much less look at, it just about burned my eyes.
At the counter they have an even hotter sauce locked away in a tiny little glass case with a giant padlock on it. You can’t touch it for legal reasons but they guaranteed me that it is the hottest thing next to the sun, and that’s hot! So, in following theme here, Dbartho did manage to get the day’s secret word from Conky 2000, “hot”. Don’t forget to scream.
There really is nothing better than a pizza place with cheap beer and unicorns.
Funny how the unicorns only come out to play when the cheap beer is flowing. What strange mystical creatures they are.
Yeah I forgot to mention I love Hogwild and totally agree about getting your own personal pizza. I wouldn’t do it any other way. It still sorta seemed to piss ‘em off though.
They have the best pizza Ive tasted in 25 years in NWA also cold millerlite wich helps when using your laptop on there WiFi at harps parking lot just kidding about harps thanks hogwild oh my daughter loved your pizza too
my dad is one of the owners…
i love the pizza,my favorite is the HOGFATHER
THERE PIZZA IS GREAT
SO JUST BUY IT MAN…
the first time i ate a slice of my dads pizza i ate and got more slices and gained some weight
you should try the hogfather if you like meat
provilone if you like veggies
and the who killed kenny if you like the hot stuff.
but you can get anything you want those were just suggestions.
Sorry, I meant to say Primavera instead of provolone. Ha Ha provolone is a cheese. My mistake! Silly Me! Anyway, try it you will love it!
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